Pirate Ship: The Spoils Bag

Now that Link's hitched a ride with Tetra and her pirates to the Forsaken Fortress, it's only a matter of time before he sees his sister again. But first, he must prove himself to the ones who ridicule him most.

-Your goodbyes to your family and friends are short-lived before Queen Bitch's harpy voice shrills behind you. She says that you're just in the way on deck, and that she wants you to report to Niko below. Oh great, isn't that the pirate that is beat up by the rest of the pirates and is probably looking to take it out on Link? Bet you can't wait to see him...

-If you like, you can introduce yourself to the rest of the pirates first. Mako, the short one with glasses, is the standard 'smart' pirate of the crew...well, about as smart as pirates get, anyway. He tells you that all new pirates must pass some sort of rigorous test, and that you should see Niko.

-Senza is the burly pirate with too much chest-hair at the back of the ship. He doesn't have much to say, other than balking at Link's queer get-up. Can you blame him--Link DOES look like a homo. However, because you must defend yourself, you might want to consider telling him to take some hair plugs from his chest to fix that balding head of his.

-The next pirate is up in the crow's nest, which you'll have to climb up a long ladder to reach. Zuko is quiet and reserved, and doesn't like to talk. Judging from his cold silence, he's probably the one that has to pleasure Queen Bitch every night. Hey, you'd be crabby, too. Give him some alone time and take the door that leads below deck next to Mako.

-You'll almost immediately run into another pirate, who happens to be Tetra's advisor. And you'll quickly figure out that there is such a thing as a gay pirate if you talk to him. Wait a minute, maybe THAT'S why Zuko is so traumatized! Er...anyway...his name is Nudge, and he tells you some interesting things about Tetra if you talk to him. However, he won't let you into her cabin yet. Don't worry--you'll get to go through Tetra's undies--I mean, treasure, later.

-When you go downstairs, you'll enter a rather large hold. You'll also run into Niko again, who just can't wait to put you through a test that will supposedly take you one year to complete. Prove the little nut job wrong. He'll explain it to you. First, you must step on the floor switch. Doing so will raise a bunch of wooden platforms in the hold.

-You must then hop onto the closest wooden platform, jump onto a rope, and swing to another wooden platform. You must continue to do this until you reach the ledge on the opposite side of the hold.

-If you fall at any point, you can use the ladder to climb back to the start and step on the switch there to lower the platforms. Then, step on the other switch to reset your time.

-Go ahead and jump to the first wooden platform. Line up your jump to the rope, because if you miss, you'll have to start over. When you're on the rope, you can tilt the control stick backward and forward to control Link's swinging. To change direction, hold the 'R' button to stop, then use the control stick to rotate around the rope. Finally, hold 'R' and use the control stick to climb up or down the rope. The farther down on the rope you are, the farther you can swing. When you jump off the rope with 'A' to the next platform, make sure you don't overshoot it.

-When you reach the second platform, you must turn and face the bottom-left corner of the room and use the rope to reach the next wooden platform there. Be careful, because overshooting this platform is especially easy.

-Once again, use the rope to reach the fourth platform.

-Now, hop to the final rope. You could jump to the final platform from there, then to the ledge, but it's much easier to completely stop your swing, face the ledge, and swing to it from the rope.

-Niko will be amazed that you finished it already, possibly on your first try. Not everyone's a pussy like you, pal. He'll then give you access to the ship's cargo.

-The chest among the cargo contains a Spoils Bag. The Spoils Bag is a lot like the Bait Bag. It has eight different pouches, each one reserved for a different item that can be stolen or won from monsters. This will become useful soon.

-Queen Bitch calls for you at this point, so go back outside and climb up to the crow's nest. She points out that it'd be impossible to sail right up to the Forsaken Fortress. She then winks at you, as if she's planning rape.

-To make a short story shorter, Link ends up in the Forsaken Fortress by himself. To make matters worse, he's also lost his Hero's Sword. Things aren't looking that great for our hero...

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