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Walkthrough
Hey, I like this cover! It looks...not as wolfish as the other one
(puh-dum-pah!).
A few notes before you go to my walkthrough:
- I HIGHLY recommend not skipping any cut scenes.
- I HIGHLY recommend not doing ANY cheats or glitches until
you do
Twilight Princess one time through. Click here
to find out why.
- I will refer to Twilight Princess as TP.
- If you are reading this while playing the Wii version...SCREW
YOU!!! Click here
to hear my long, boring speech why this is for Gamecube ONLY...but if
you reverse it (Go west means go east), then I suppose I will let you
play TP on the Wii.
- I will introduce all the characters as I go, so if you see a
character I don't introduce, he's/she's either: A. Unimportant, or B.
Queer (Gay, crossdresser, oversized head, etc.) The best example is
Falbi, the Cucco/clown dude (I won't insult Fyer, because the dude has
a FRICKING CANNON!!!)
- I will normally speak in first person, but I will refer to the
main character as Link during certain times.
- Any side quests, such as Pieces of Heart or Poe Souls, will be
answered in their respective sections UNLESS they are necessary to
advance in the game.
If you can understand these rules, then you will have no
problem
with this guide. Enjoy!
Part 1 - Ordon Village
Ordon Village Day 1
A cut scene with Rusl,
the town swordsman, and your walk in the
woods will bring you back at your house with your horse missing (which
I will refer to as Epona, the default name), who was apparently taken
by a girl your age if you watched the cut scene. Also, you are being
pestered by some incompetent, smelly, retarded ranch hand, and you
cannot get to the village. So go to the Ordona
Spring to meet Ilia, the mayor's daughter (and the girl Link's
gone ooh-lah-lah over) who is grooming Epona. She will ask you to play
a song on the
horseshoe-shaped grass over in the corner. You can play it or not, it
doesn't matter that much. Anyway, ride her back to your house and into
the village. Talk to some of the people if you want (whatever, they'll
hate you so much that in a couple of days they'll be attacking you),
but you need to go to the ranch. The retarded ranch hand will be
complaining about how skittish the goats are (1st sign of incompetence:
Denial), so he'll ask you to round them up for him {the
lazy ass} ANYway...do that and you can jump fences or
whatever, or you could jump the fence into town to go onto Day 2.
Ordon Village Day 2 Part 1: Bumbling
Villagers
OK, they said you'd get a day off. YEAH RIGHT!!! Go talk to the little
kids when Talo, obnoxious lazy idiot #2, starts babbling about Beth,
spoiled daughter of the fat lady and the wimpy (YES I SAID WIMPY) guy
who run the shop in town. Then, Malo (I think he's a boy, but don't be
sure) will mumble some crude remark about wanting a family with a
slingshot instead of a waterwheel (SEE!?! These kids are spoiled
rotten!!!) Anyway, go talk to Sera, the fat lady owner of the shop, to
find her cat is missing (@_@ KRRRRRAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYY!!!) After
this, go talk to Uli, Colin's mother, also known as "fatso" and "the
pregnant lady" to find out she dropped her cradle in the creek
(butterfingers) Talk to Jaggle, Talo and Malo's dad, to find Sera's cat
trying to catch a fish. He will also point out a reed in a "rare spot".
Pick up the reed, summon a hawk, and steal a cradle from a
monkey on a rock up the creek. (Ugh, that sounds SO WRONG!) Take the
cradle to Uli and she will give you a fishing rod, which might help you
in the final battle against Ganondorf...hint hint. Anyway, go towards
Sera's cat and catch two fish, the second she will snag. Sera will act
all drunk and give a bottle half full of beer...I mean milk and tell
you do chug it so we can...uhhhhh...ok, well if you haven't collected
30 rupees, do so and buy the slingshot. Then Rusl (The most sane person
in Ordon, including yourself) will drop off your wooden sword. Show off
your slingshot to the kiddies and get your sword. Then show off your
sword and the cradle-thief monkey will show up and Talo, Beth and Malo
will attack and chase it.
Ordon Village Day 2 Part 2: Hunting the Monkey
The first thing you need to do is to try to get past the gate.
But OH! It's locked, isn't it? The lazy bum who locked it, Coro, sells
oil near the shack to your right. Go bother him and he'll give you a
lantern to try to make you "buy some oil". Yeah right. There's no way
oil can be 20 rupees with the high prices these days! Oh well, there
must be a lake full of oil or something in Hyrule. Anyway, he'll also
give you the key to the gate, so go through and destroy all the rodents
(Keese and Rats) and collect the 10 rupees in the chest. You'll end up
at this big, dried up lakebed place. Anyway, you'll need ANOTHER small
key to get past ANOTHER gate at the other end of the lakebed. Go north,
beating the crap out of every monster you see until you come across a
cavern. Go into the cavern and beat up a couple of Bokoblins to get the
Small Key. Go west from there to get to the gate. Afterwards, you'll
end up in a big clearing. Stock up on any supplies you need for 1 rupee
(It's a Bargain Mart!) and head up the path towards a big tree. You'll
find Talo and a monkey doing something...I mean, screaming for their
lives as they are attacked by two Bokoblins. Kill the monsters and free
the monkey and the monkey's uncle with a spin attack. A cutscene will
follow and you'll go onto Day 3.
Ordon Village Day 3
Coming Soon...
~~~~~~~~~
If you need help anywhere, but you don't see
what you want here, email me by clicking on the
Contact Mantainer and I will email you the answer (if I
know it) and
try to get it in as soon as I can, but this walkthrough will be done in
...
CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!
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